I think I'm pretty smart. I was average in high school, went to a 4 year state school, graduated with a 4.0 my entire senior year. I went on to get my teaching credential. I love to read, love words and how they're used, and I can always turn a fun outing into a boring learning experience for the kids. Not only am I pretty smart, but my friends are, too. I'm lucky that way. But somehow every single one of us smart people didn't do the math when it came time for my family planning. When Drew was 10 months old and I found out I was pregnant with William it was definitely an "oh, shit" moment. But then I did it again. Not one of us stopped to think that someday it wasn't just going to be cute babies in this house. Why didn't anyone stop me?
I know I'm not the only one who is the mother to a 2, 4, and 6 year old but holy shit, ya'll. I'm going to continue to act as if I am and dwell in this, "OMG, what have I done" phase that I'm kind of falling into. I've always had a humorous approach to parenting and I've been lucky that that has worked for me thus far. For the most part my kids are good. And by good I mean manageable. I'm not worried about them liking me so much as I am about being their mom and that seems to be working for me. Or it has until lately. It's getting a little more difficult. Everyone is kind of in their own developmental stage right now and I am having to be in three emotional places all at once sometimes. That's becoming so draining. Someone is ALWAYS doing one of the following: whining, complaining, fighting, arguing, crying, yelling, asking me to watch them do something stupid (sorry, just being honest), help them, feed them, wipe them, or play with them. Always. Someone is always in one of these stages. Can you feel my pain?
I am not taking responsibility for being in this situation. I blame my smart friends for not stopping me when clearly they knew how to do the math and that someday these sweet little babies I kept having would be 2, 4, and 6. I'm too tired to take responsibility for anything anymore.