Saturday, December 31, 2011


Whatcha doing tonight?  Anything fun for New Year's Eve? 

Most people don't have to work tomorrow.  Firefighters don't observe holidays, however, so tomorrow is a normal day for Chris.  Because of that, which means he gets up at 3:45am, staying up 'til midnight isn't really smart for him.  More importantly, for the safety and well-being of my children tomorrow, staying up 'til midnight isn't smart for ME.

We're having our great friends over for a fabulous meal made by me (I mean Chris), have a few drinks, play some games, let the kids run wild, and we'll be celebrating at 9:00pm with Anderson Cooper or Ryan Seacrest or someone on east coast time.  We'll ring in the east coast new year so that we can be in bed at a reasonable hour.  

Some may call that sad.  I call it brilliant.  I won't be hungover or a danger to my kids tomorrow because I'll still get my 8 hours necessary for everyone's safety.  New Year's  or not.

Be safe and I'll chat at you next year.  Like, in 24 hours.


Friday, December 30, 2011


Damn Santa for bringing this chatterbox kid something he can now narrate and share all. day. long.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Don't hate me because I'm a genius

I woke up this morning and before I even opened my eyes all 3 kids were on my bed fighting over who got to lay next to me first.  With my eyes still closed I told them all to get out of my room and go watch TV, that I'd be up in a few minutes.  They left.  They came back.  This time they were on my floor coloring only to knock over the big bowl of crayons and then they took turns yelling at each other for being the one who did it and who had to clean it up.  I peeked my eye open and it was not even 8:00am yet.  I grabbed my phone off my night stand and texted our fabulous sitter and wrote, "Are you available today?"

She wrote back, "Yes, I am."
By 10:15am I was out of here and didn't return until 2:00pm.

I know. 

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Damn that fat man

The big kids got a DSi from Santa for Christmas.  And, thanks to all the grandparents, a slew of games, too. 

William, whose brain NEVER stops, is in love with it, just as I expected.  As in, he hasn't put it down yet.  It's new, it's vacation, and it's fine.  We will, however, put a limit on it in the next few days.  And that isn't for his benefit, it's for MINE.

This kid not only narrates whatever he's playing, he calls me over or brings it to me and shows me and explains what has happened, what is happening, or what is going to happen next.  All the time.  Every game.  The whole time he is playing.  At first I feigned interest.  I even asked questions.  Then I just did the "uh huh" stuff while I looked on.  Now I don't even look or say anything and it's as if he doesn't even notice.  I'm not being completely dismissive to be mean - of course not!  I'm in DSi survival mode.  I can't tolerate the talk about it anymore.  For that reason, and that reason alone, the DSi has to be limited.  30 min. a day after homework or something like that.  I may be able to tolerate that.  We'll see.

It's melting his brain.

It's melting mine, too.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Looks like she's been in a bar fight


Santa came last night:

The Tooth Fairy will come tonight...

First front toof lost on Christmas Day

It's a good thing the Easter Bunny has a few months before he's due to arrive.  The sparkle and magic in this house has just 'bout hit its limit.  By that I mean I'm fresh out of creativity and ideas.

Hope your day was sparkly and magical. 

Merry Christmas, friends.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Dear Santa - Love, Ashley

You can think one of the following:

(a)  We are such great examples for our children and want them to know that it IS greater to give than to receive.

(b)  Although we have donated to the food bank and to Toys for Tots in the last week, we are wanting to be sure we cover all bases and give to those adults who may be in need of stocking gifts.

(c)  We are too lazy and cheap to go out and buy gifts for each other to fill each other's stockings with between now and tomorrow night but we are afraid of what the kids will think when the see that Santa "forgot us". 

Hmmmmm.  I see what you think of me.   

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Oh, hell no.

I saw this and immediately my blood started to boil a little. 

I don't use time out but if I did, it wouldn't be a feel-good place.  Yes, it's important your kids know you love them regardless of the bad choices they may make but really?  An I LOVE YOU written on the time out chair?  I know some will completely disagree with me about this but I think this is ridiculous.  I'm all about consequences and discipline as well as love and kisses but I'm not sure that they mesh like this. 

My time out chair would say, "Turn around, don't look at me, and keep your mouth closed until you are ready to come apologize and explain to me what you could have done differently.  If you are sincere I will likely give you a hug and send you on your way."

What do you think about this?

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

~ What the Hell Wednesday ~

What is delicious served on hot buttered toast with a glass of brandy?  Why, reindeer paté, of course! 

If you really are interested, you can order it here, at

 Oh, wait.  They are OUT OF STOCK due to such HIGH DEMAND. 



*sad face*

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Christmas cards - what do you do with them?

What do you do with the Christmas cards you receive in the mail?  In the past I've hung them on a paper clip thingy or put them each on our fridge.  This year I haven't done anything except put them in a little basket on the counter.  Friends who have come over have enjoyed going through them but it seems kind of silly to just have them there.  Do you have a good soloution?

Also, do you want to share your Christmas card?  Post it on our facebook page to share with other readers.  I would love to see it and so would they! 

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Dear Blog Readers,

Dear Blog Readers,

I miss you!  I'm still here, I'm just drowing in snot and coughs and wrapping and baking and mailing and napping and...  you know?  My head is busting at the seams with things I need to write down.  Please keep checking in with me, I swear I'll be back every few days.  The every day blogging thing has to chill for now, I just can't do it.  It just means when I do write for the next 2 weeks or so it should be really good, right?  Then come 2012 I'll be back on track.

Now go wrap something!  Or mail something!  Or bake something! 

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Question of the day

Sometimes I wonder WHY the kids want to be with me all the time.  Like when they follow me into one of the bedrooms when I am putting laundry away.  Or how they eventually make their way into the kitchen as I'm putting dishes away.  Or how they end up rolling in while I'm curled on the chair in the front livingroom in the complete dark trying to hide while on the telephone.  Somehow they always find me.  And it's not to sit and chat with me or even to ask me a question.  It's to wrestle with each other, argue about something stupid with each other, or to practice their whistling and arm farting skills.  Why is that?  I know someday I'll miss them when they've moved out or when they don't want to be around me but all I can think of is why do they want to be with me when all I do in those moments is shoo them away, tell them to shush, and tell them how rude they're being.  Why would you make an effort to be around someone like that?


Saturday, December 10, 2011

Goodwill gifts

Drew and I took a big bag of toys (that the kids don't play with ever) to Goodwill.  After we dropped our bag off we went inside.  Drew had never been inside and she thought it was awesome.  We went in for Drew to shop for William and Lauren for Christmas.  She was very thoughtful in her choices.  Here, $7 later, are the two gifts she chose for her brother and sister.  They will be thrilled, without a doubt.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Hello, Hello!

Our Elf on the Shelf (his name is Hello) has done jack shit for behavior this year but it has provided great entertainment every morning.  Lauren usually finds him first because she's up at the crack everyday.  She's learning to let Drew and William look for him without blurting out where he is as soon as they come downstairs.  They are enjoying the silliness this year.

So far this is a few of what we've had:

He was too tired to fly to the North Pole so he took my car and flew in that.  It was parked crooked in the driveway and there were sparkles all over.  This was the biggest hit yet.

He made a mess of the blocks on the coffee table and we found him sitting like this.


Hanging out with the utensils

The chocolate bar belongs to William - he won it at Awana.  Tomorrow morning when he sees this setup he's either going to get a hoot out of it or be pissed that Hello opened his candy.

Have any other great ideas?  Pass them on!  I've got 15 more nights to do this!

Just can't catch a break during this busy time

Today I had so much to do: Christmas shopping, change sheets upstairs because of an *ahem* accident last night by one of the children, the daily laundry, the daily putting away that never gets done, grocery shopping, taking our new pup to the vet, all while doing the normal daily stuff of dropping off and picking up at two different places at four different times.  I know it's a busy time of year for everyone so I'm not complaining at all, it's just a fact that the day was chock full of things that needed to be done. 

Lauren, the expert iPhone photographer, caught me in the middle of the action this afternoon. 

I am hoping for an equally productive day tomorrow.
ps.  My iPhone has a "make her nose look ginormous" button that was obviously set to on.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

~ What the Hell Wednesday ~

It's that horrifying moment when you realize that your friend's fat arm makes you look naked in that office party photo

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Off the chain

In the last 48 hours we:

* Added to our family with our new dog, Holly Winter Peters

* Went away for a night to celebrate the holidays with Chris's fire station crew, past and present

* Crashed a wedding

* Drank my weekly allotment of calories in one night of alcohol

* Had a one hour facial that was perfectly heavenly

* Put up and decorated our Christmas tree

To some this may be kind of every weekend-ish.  (Well, not the Christmas tree part.)  For me, as you know, it's not.  We had the best time ever and when my headachey hangover goes away, I'll write in detail.  It was, as the kids say, off the frickin' chain. 



Have a great Monday, friends.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

On my mind every day

1. Being a better cook

2.  Being a more attentive mommy

3.  Getting healthier (that's mommy speak for losing a shitload of weight)

4.  Being a more appreciative wife

What are your somethings?



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