Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Thrilled to pieces

I've written before about how Drew is not exactly who I thought she'd be and how I'm coming to terms with that and am learning to fall in love with the person she is.  (More details here).   

This morning I had Drew's kindergarten parent/teacher conference.  As a teacher I did these conferences for many years but this is the first time I've been on THIS side of the table.  I was very anxious to hear how she was doing and honestly, I was more interested in her social skills than her academic.  We work on things at home and we do her homework everynight and I kind of know where she is academically.  I just fear that socially she's the mean girl.  That's who she is at home about 60% of the time - disobedient, unkind to William, bossy.  I have been so fearful of that translating to outside the home and how she behaves and is perceived by her classmates and her teachers.  I'm in touch with her teachers daily and nothing has ever been brought to my attention so I knew there was not going to be a bomb dropped today about her behavior being horrible but... I worry she's going to be that kid.  She has always been taught otherwise but she's so strong willed and out for herself that it overshadows all she has been taught and all that she knows is right.  Not everytime, but most of the time.  At home, anyway.  This was my chance to see how it goes down at school.

Drew's teacher said she is a complete joy to have in class.  She uses Drew as an example of how to do things when asked.  Drew notices when someone is having a hard day and she becomes his/her best friend.  She has befriended the girl in class who has a hard time with others and often plays alone.  She seeks out resources and uses them rather than depending on the teachers (she wanted to know how to spell McDonalds and instead of asking she went and got the book Old McDonald had a Farm and looked it up herself).   She is always on task, listens, and participates.  She is an outstanding writer and is so excited about reading she's progressing very well.  

This was me:


I know from experience that kids can really exhibit different personalities depending on their environment but I really was stunned.  Her teacher used the words, "caring", "mother hen", "thoughtful".  I got all teary and was just pleased beyond words. 

All I want is for my kids to be kind, productive citizens.  That's it.  They don't have to be super smart or get into the best schools, they just need to be kind and productive.  I know Drew is only 5 but I was fearing that she wasn't kind.  She has her moments, of course, but I wouldn't use the word kind to describe her at home so I am thrilled to pieces that her teacher used that word numerous times as a description of who she is at school.  I just can't wait 'til she gets home today so I can love on her. 

"Treat everyone with kindness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are." ~ Mommy to Drew


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  1. so awesome! that's exactly why i mentioned earlier that i remember crying at my first parent-teacher conference. ashley, you are an amazing mother and awesomeness breeds awesomeness. :) i'm not surprised drew is outstanding.

  2. Yay Drew! I get the same comments about Ryan at school. My last response to his teacher was, "glad he is good for you guys, we'll just deal with the sassy at home." if home is the place he chooses to "express" that part of himself then fine. i'm up for the challenge (most of the time).

  3. What a great report! You have every right to be proud of her & yourself.

  4. :). You are an individual and mother I personally look up to and take notes from :). Your trio are so blessed with you. Just like the rest, I'm not surprised Drew is just as awesome as her mother :). I especially loved this part:

    She has befriended the girl in class who has a hard time with others and often plays alone.

    Pat on the back to Drew and to you :).

  5. As you might expect given that we are the same person, I have the same concerns about Zack. He's a grumpy old man and is awful to his sister, but teachers and other parents frequently tell me how KIND he is. That owl up there exactly represents my face when this information is relayed.

    Apparently what we teach them sinks in, it just doesn't apply, in their minds, to home. I'll take that.

  6. Kind...very important. Neat blog post. I was once a mom of 3 under 5 as well. The boys are now teens with one a preteen. At home...well... But when I go to parent teacher conferences...hearing how well behaved and kind they are...awesome.

    I guess its better they act up/out at home...where they can feel safe to express what ever angst...

    Knowing that when they step out into the world...they represent the mothering they have received...that is what really counts.

    Would be great if they could be sweet darlings at home I know!!

  7. It's funny the words we would use to describe our kids, are NEVER the words teachers use to describe them. I had the sam "huh" reaction last year at CC's parent teacher conference. My wild, bossy, outspoken child had transformed into soft spoken, and well behaved!! Really? Are you sure you didn't switch the report cards? I'm glad Drew had a good parent teacher conference. Jenne


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