Friday, November 5, 2010

I used to be such a bitch. *Used to be*

You know before you had kids and you'd see someone who had kids doing something and you'd be all, "OMG, I will never do that when I have kids."  Or you hear a mother talk to her child a certain way while you're waiting in line at Target and you think, "Dude, she's such a bitch.  Who would talk to their child that way??" 

 And then you have kids.

These are the things I do now that my pre-kid self would have made judgemental comments about:

  • I buy William shoes that light up when he walks
  • I get a million dollar bounce house/water slide for every birthday party
  • I cut the crust off every GD sandwhich I make for them
  • I ask what they want for lunch rather than serving whatever it is I feel like making
  • They have nicer sheets than I do
  • I buy an Icee for them every. single. time. we go to Target so that I can shop in peace
  • I don't enforce jackets or sweaters because if they are cold it's their problem.  I can't fight about that.
  • I let them keep worms and snails as pets in tupperware.  In my house.
  • I say, "I'm busy, go turn on the TV for a few minutes until I'm finished"  - gasp!!
  • I am the mom who acts as if my kids are quiet and perfect as I continue to look at the shelves and push the carriage at the store when in fact they are arguing and fighting
There are many more, these are just the top 10 that I can think of off-hand.  There are some things that I stand firm on and I'm proud of that.  It just goes to show that if you beat a rug hard enough, it in fact does start to break apart. 

I wish I could go back and slap my pre-kid self.  I was such a bitch.

What are some things you do that you said you never would?

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  1. holy shit this is hysterical. i can imagine the look on my face as non kid women talk to me like they know more. i think this seriously just made my day, i laughed hysterically. good to know ya bitch!

  2. I swore they'd never eat in the living room, but they're eating a snack in there as I type this.
    I send them out back to play without me.
    If I'm too tired, we skip the bath & wait till tomorrow (unless they're really dirty)
    + all of yours above, EXCEPT the light up shoes ;)

  3. Love this! Oh man, how things change once you have kids!

  4. Pretty much guilty of all of those, except the snail/worms. Cannot handle that. No icees at Target cuz I don't think Ryan even knows what they are, but he expects something from Starbucks or Jamba Juice when we are at Safeway. I never thought I would make two different dinners each night and feed them mac n cheese n turkey dogs so frequently. Luke also drinks way too much apple juice. I dont like wearing jackets so my kids are often without them unless i know they are going to be outside for a while. They watch wayyyy too many cartoons!
    But, I fight hard for sleep schedules and naps (heck i paid a sleep consultant!) and for eating fruit. I work hard on the please and thank yous...and enforce the importance of education. I'm working on the sassy...

  5. I bribe them with things I know they like or want to do just to get some peace and cooperation.
    They go outside without shoes on.
    If we are staying home, we are sometimes in pjs until noon.
    and they eat McDonalds way more than I ever thought I would allow.

  6. I was just thinking about this the other day :). This is hilarious! I have a long list, too! The TV use in this house is pretty crazy (especially superhero ones that they just them, we've watched them!) and the jumping on the couch has left holes on it already. Now, I have to control myself when I get "those" looks from no-kid-people.

    Ashley, I'm making my way to your last bullet. I'm proud to say I'm getting better at it! LOL!

  7. My husband says take things away from them when they are bad, however that is just torturing myself because I stay at home with them. Paige has to do the credit card machine when we are out shopping, so I created a girl who loves plastic. Mason I keep saying he's just a boy with a lot of energy and surrounded by a neighborhood of girls really?? did he hurt you that bad? I bribe them all the time and yes I need that glass of wine at the end of the day!

  8. If I were dead I'd be rolling over. :)

  9. i friggin love this post. like looking in a mirror. and i am totally the mom walking around the store with the kid screaming, acting like nothing is wrong. (it's usually mady screaming, though, and since she's not quite a year, i feel like people can deal because it's not like i can reason with her)


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