Tuesday, May 18, 2010

I was absent that day

Chris has always said that if something should ever happen to him, I have his permission to remarry immediately.  He thinks my remarrying is going to be essential to my survival. 

I am not an idiot by any means but if anything requires technical thinking whatsoever, I play dead pretty much because I have no idea what the hell is going on.  One night we were taking a walk and William pointed to the telephone wires overhead and asked me what the were.  I told him.  He said, "What do they do?"  I hemmed and hawed and Chris did not come to my rescue.  Screw him.  With great confidence I said, "They are magic."  That is my explanation for most science based things.  In just a couple more years I can pull the ol' teacher trick when I don't know the answer.  "You know what, William?  That's a terrific question.  You find the answer on your own and come report back and I'll give you an extra cookie in your lunch." or something like that.  Thank God for Google.  He'll be our very good friend in this house when daddy is at the firehouse and the kids are doing science homework.  I must have been absent the day they taught science.

Lately there has been a great interest in lava in our house.  William turns everything into fireball shooter and all the fireballs he shoots at Drew have lava tails.  We spent quite a bit of time on YouTube watching volcanos and lava flowing.  I'm thrilled they have such interests.  I have to admit, though, that I sat there sweating a little that someone was going to say, "Mommy, why exactly does it do that?"  Since I can't really say, "Well, God is pissed so he spews liquid fire into the air" I think it's clearly time I brush up on the basics.  In the meantime, I'm totally going to use this explanation.  Then we'll make one which will back up my explanation and they'll think I'm a freaking science genius.

Courtesy of Fake Science


  1. I'm am forever telling Zack to Google it because I feel like I KNOW the answer but cannot express the answer with words. Zack's current obsession is "Who invented...?". I have no idea who invented what.

    This is the point at which children start thinking that their parents know nothing. For the first seven years or so we're brilliant then we start having to make up answers and refer to search engines and they lose confidence in us. :(

  2. The Boy is shooting fireballs lately, too. Guess we have something new to look at on the computer. Didn't think about volcanoes until now ...


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