You really aren't glue at all, I'm not sure what you are or what your purpose is. You don't hold the straw on and honestly, I have better things to do than fish about the fridge for a lost crinkly straw that has fallen off the juice box. Since without the straw the actual product is rendered nearly useless, you'd think that as the "glue" you'd work a bit better. I now scotch tape the straws on as I take them out of the box and put them in the fridge. Yep, I'm doing YOUR job 'cause you suck.
Dear Cut the Rope,
You are the first game since Super Mario Bros. on Nintendo that I totally kick ass at playing. Even William is no match for me! I don't have an iPhone so I don't play very often, only when Chris is home and William and I have a few minutes before bath or after lunch or something to battle. Thank you for renewing my self esteem when it comes to playing some kind of video game!
Dear Iced Skinny Vanilla Latte (with only one pump vanilla),
It doesn't matter how cold it is outside, you are my non-holiday Starbucks drink of choice. At a mere 3 points, I drink you almost daily with no guilt. You, combined with my Fiber One granola bar, make a delicious breakfast.
Dear Band Aid Hurt-Free Antiseptic Wash,
You really don't hurt and you make me feel better knowing that the many scrapes and scratches that happen here on a daily basis are clean and no one will contract gangrene or something. Even little Lauren doesn't flinch when I squirt you onto a cotton ball and slap you onto her open wounds. I should buy stock in you at the rate at which you are used here.
Dear GPS for the Television Remote,
Why don't you exist?
Dear Jersey Shore,
I'm not ashamed to watch you although I know that when I have to wait to be sure the children are asleep for fear that they may even hear a word of you and I have to wait until Chris is gone because he can't tolerate the sight of you it's probably a red flag that you're not quality television. Oh, well. I'm on my best behavior all freaking day. It's nice to sit and enjoy people who aren't. Season 3, bring it!
Dear I Will Not Raise My Voice Day,
I created you last night in my head and decided that today would be declared as such. So far, so good and I'm quite a few hours in! It's helped me to be more aware of my tone and I think that is a good thing. There are 7 hours until bedtime. I am confident I can keep it up. I will not fail you!
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