I'm open to suggestions.
I don't typically say that. Not because I have it all together but because for the most part what I've done and what I do works for me in the parenting department. Right or wrong, it works. Until now.
I'm at the end of my rope. Like, for realz, there is no where else to go.
When I brought home Lauren, Drew was 4 and William was 2. I used to feel badly saying it but that was EASY. Too easy. Then they were each 1, 3, and 5. That was super easy, too. 2, 4, and 6 came along and it was no longer super easy, it was just kind of... no big deal. Now that they are 3, 5, and 7 it's like a different ballgame. Or like a different sport altogether. And I don't know the rules or how to play and I certainly feel like I don't have the right equipment.
I know all siblings fight to some extent. But mine fight from 7am until 8pm. I'm not exaggerating or being dramatic. The two heavyweights are William vs. Lauren but Drew gets in the mix more often than not. The place they are in right now is awful, really awful. We just need a slight shift in the dynamics and it'll be all good. By that I mean maybe they'll fight only 10 hours a day instead of 13 hours. We just need to get out of this place. I have exhausted absolutely all of my energy in trying to press fate and make the shift happen. I finally believe (or am just too tired to try anymore) that it will evolve on its own. William will be starting 1st grade, Lauren will be starting preschool, they will inevitably grow up a bit this coming school year and the shift will occur on its own. I'm banking on it. My sanity depends on it.
See this chair? They fought, which would have been to the death had I not broken it up, over sitting in this chair. There is more than 3,000 square feet at their disposal, each with their own rooms, a big backyard, and 5 other couches or big chairs to sit in yet all 3 had to sit in this one. It was my breaking point. How do you, after 6 hours of listening to kids argue and fight, deal with a situation like this without saying "f*ck", "idiot" or "Jesus Christ"? I managed to do it, believe it or not. And trust me, if I hadn't, I'd tell you. I'm beyond feeling shameful. I'm at the end of my rope.
I see posts on facebook about how fabulous summer is and how great a time families are having. It makes me wonder what is going on in our house and why. And trust me. I have exhausted all the typical avenues for these kinds of things. "We don't talk like that to each other in this family" and "What else could you do besides yell at your brother like that?" and BLAH BLAH BLAH. I am proud of my consistent parenting but I am finally tired. I am beginning to feel like I just can't keep up with it. It's like the Hunger Games is going to take place in my livingroom while I take a nap in the bedroom. I'll wake when I hear the boom in the sky. And then I'll go back to sleep.
So. Since I'm on the verge of going into full survival mode where I do nothing but stare blankly at the wall, I'm wondering what you may suggest. And I'm just going to be honest. Marbles in a jar, stickers on a chart, and ice cream for dessert isn't going to cut it. I'm playing with the big dogs. But, remember, I don't know the rules or have the right equipment. And since I'm being completely honest I'm just going to put it out there. Right now, this game SUCKS.