Hello! I need a little help, please!

My kids argue.  ARGUE.  And they fight.  FIGHT.  And it makes me want to pull out my hair.  Or have a drink.  Or sell them on ebay.  I am so over doing the whole, "Drew, don't kick him.  We don't use our feet when we play." or "William, you're gonna snatch her bald if you keep pulling on her hair like that.  Please stop."  Now I'm ready for the, "Grab your sneakers, I'm taking you to the firestation in Oakland and I'll let daddy play referee for day." or "If you come out of your room I'm going to take your books away for bedtime tonight."  I mean really - who does that?  Who threatens to take BOOKS AWAY FROM A CHILD?  I do, that's who.  I need to hit 'em where it hurts and I'm running out of options.  

It occurred to me this morning that I may have one little trick left.  It's worked in previous years, although this year's circumstances are a bit different.  Last year it worked to keep the kids from leaving their shoes in the livingroom.  This year I need it to work to keep them from killing each other.  Or... well, you know what I'm thinking.  Ok, so here it is.  And it's freaking genius:

Hello.  No, that's not a greeting, it's his name.  His name is Hello and he is our Elf.  He comes out every December 1 and he is Santa's informant helper.  Every night he flies back to the North Pole to report to Santa how the kids behaved that day and then he flies back.  Every morning he is in a new place in the house so part of the fun is the kids having to find him.  They rush downstairs like it's Christmas morning just to see where Hello is that day.  I can say throughout the day, "Ohhhh, what do you think Hello is thinking about what you're doing?"  and the fear of God Santa races through their being.  It's brilliant. 

I'm thinking that since I am already so tired of being the peacemaker, I'm going to let Hello come visit us a little early this year.  

In case you're wondering, the Elf was named by Drew.  When we got him I asked her what she thought his name was.  She replied, "Um, I think his mommy calls him Hello."  And so it is.  Hello.

You can get your own Hello (or whatever you choose to call him).  I know lots of stores carry them now.  Ours was a gift from Aunt Debbie three years ago and she found it while on Cape Cod.  Since then it's gone into major stores.  Or you can go here:  www.elfontheshelf.com 

And I'm convinced that if Hello can't whip them into shape, no one can.  Well, maybe the firefighters at Chris's station.  'Cause that's where I'm dropping those little curtain climbers off if they don't knock it off. 

Hello, Hello!