Shameless

This post is dedicated to one of my besties.  She knows who she is and I love her.

There are lots of things in my life that I'm extremely proud of.  There are only a few things of which I'm not so proud but really nothing that I'm ashamed of.  I feel like the following info falls into that middle category.  I'm definitely not ashamed of this but it's not something I thought I'd ever really put out there.  Then I had a great conversation with one of my closest friends.  She made me feel a little less weird about it all and it's to repay the favor that I'm putting this out there for her.

In a period of 4 years and 3 weeks I had 3 babies.  Add to that the umpteen months of combined nursing and the fact that I ain't a spring chicken anymore and my hormones have just gone apeshit.  Now that I'm done having babies *sniff, sniff* and I'm done nursing, it's time to address the issue that my hormones are on the edge of the cliff, just waiting, waiting, to be pushed off again into that abyss of pregnancy and nursing hell.  They aren't listening to me although I've spent a lot of time over the last few months trying to convince them that I am done.  They can chill out.  The moodiness can take a hike.  It just hasn't worked.  So, for the sake of my sanity, my kids' love, and the affection of my husband, I called my doctor.  I made the call.  I had to.  I needed help.  Thankfully I don't experience any sadness or anything like that, I just have moods that are unpredictable and that's not fun for anyone.  It may sound like a total cop-out to go right to prescription meds but trust me on this.  I thought long and hard before even talking to Chris about it, let alone my doctor.  What's funny is that I thought Chris didn't know.  Ha!  Like when you think being a plus-size woman is a secret but it's obviously not.  I felt like I had come out in a sense and admitted that I think all the changes I forced upon my body in the last 4 years had really caught up with me.  I said, "You know, I think my hormones are a little crazy and they aren't calming on their own."  I expected Chris to say something like, "Really?  Do you feel differently?  What are you thinking of doing about it?"  Instead he said, "JESUS, ya think?!"

So, for 10 days a month I take a tiny aquamarine pill that has restored a calm into my house, my life, and my relationships.  I hope this is temporary and once I'm further out from this post-pregnant, post-nursing self that I can manage things and my hormones will be unlike my children (by that I mean they will actually listen to me) but until then I am at the mercy of modern medicine.  And I'm not ashamed of it.  Nor am I ashamed of being a plus-sized woman.  But, sssshhhhhh.  That part is a secret.