William tends to speak for things and so we actually play this game quite a bit at home. Only without the cussing.
Dear Ugly-Ass Fountain,
You have adorned our front flower bed since we moved in nearly 5 years ago. At first I thought you were kind of charming. Then you just became an eye sore. Then when I saw that black widow sneak back inside you as I walked by a few weeks ago I saw you as a danger. If you hadn't been so heavy I would have been rid of you years ago. Enjoy your new home at the dump. Black widows love it there.
Dear Jersey Shore cast people,
I love you. I love your show. Maybe because I'm a sociology major and I find you and your behaviors fascinating I just can't stop watching. Or maybe because I've never touched my hair in my life as much as Snookie does in one episode. I don't know what it is. It's a freaking train wreck and I love it.
Dear old renters,
You owe us a crapload of money. You have two young children and are a sad set of role models. You ruined our yards. You have ignored our letters and we're suing you. You could have put our family in financial trouble. You suck.
You give me an outlet to write. You provide a venue for me to create somewhat of a family diary during this special time in our life while all three kids are little. Someday I'll have you published into a beautiful book for us to have in later years. You give me something to do while I'm laying awake at 11:08pm waiting for Chris to get home from teaching and for that I am grateful. I hope someday the kids will read you and enjoy the descriptions of our tiny adventures as well as their mom's thoughts about them. And I hope they love it.
I love you.
You come much too soon. EVERYDAY. You clearly have no children because if you did you'd hold off at least another hour. It'd be awesome if you could work on that.
Not holding my breath,
A mommy who loves to sleep