1000 Oceans

This has no meaning for me, it's just a beautiful song that is sung with such emotion it nearly brings me to tears everytime.  If you aren't familiar with the kids from PS 22, clear two hours from your schedule some time and get on YouTube.  The only thing more amazing than these kids is their teacher. 

These tears I've cried

I've cried 1000 oceans

And if it seems

I'm floating in the darkness

Well, I can't believe that I would keep

Keep you from flying

And I would cry 1000 more

If that's what it takes

To sail you home

Sail you home

Sail you home

I'm aware what the rules are

But you know that I will run

You know that I will follow you

Over silbury hill

Through the solar field

You know that I will follow you

And if I find you

Will you still remeber

Playing at trains

Or does this litte blue ball

Just fade away

Over silbury hill

Through the solar field

You know that I will follow you

I'm aware what the rules are

But you know that I will run

You know that I will follow you

These tears I've cried

I've cried 1000 oceans

And if it seems

I'm floating in the darkness

Well I can't believe that I would keep

Keep you from flying

So I will cry 1000 more

If that's what it takes

To sail you home

Sail you home

Sail you home

Sail

Sail you home

Flashback Friday

All of these pictures were either taken tonight, or during this week last year.  It's amazing how much everyone has changed, in so many ways, in just one year.  Sometimes I think I take too many pictures.  This is when I'm thankful I do. 

Thanks

I've mentioned before that my whole intention in writing a blog is to provide a family diary-ish kind of thing for my kids later.  If I remain a stay at home mom they will never know me as anything but their mom, you know?  I hate that idea.  At least if they read this blog in print someday they'll know I actually had thoughts other than peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and desires for clean rooms.  They'll know that I love to write and that this really is my only venue at this point.  I've also mentioned that I believe I have 6 people who read this blog regularly.  You've all stroked my ego enough that I know that's not the case and over there to the right you'll see that I have 23 people signed up as my followers.  Yes, followers!  It's actually a little too David Koresh-ish for me, I kind of wish it said "fans" or "people who take the time to visit my blog" or something.  Whatever. 

I had my blog printed about a month ago.  It's in book form (October-April) and it's so exciting!  It's 234 pages long and it includes everything - the pictures, the comments, etc.  Volume 1 of my family diary.  Bad words and all.  I used this site to have it printed and I'm thrilled with it.  I've always wanted to write for reals and this book actually made me giddy.  I hope the kids will take an interest in 20 years to sit and read it all. 

ALLTOSAY, if you visit me regularly and read my ramblings, I thank you.  Really.  It's like throwing a little party.  When no one shows up it's kind of a drag.  So thanks for coming to my party.

Check yo' self

May is Skin Cancer Awareness month.  I've had 9 suspicious things removed from my body in the last 15 years.  Spending the first 30 years of my life in the sun for 4 months out of the year with ZERO sunscreen on may have something to do with it.  Check yourself.  Check your spouse.  Check your kids.  I go to the dermatologist every 6 months and have her check me (sorry, Chris, but I don't trust you).  It's all worth it.  Don't be lazy. 

 Oh, and wear sunscreen.

Maintenance

I'm not high maintenance.  I don't do jewelry except for my wedding ring (and Chris's too, I wear his since he can't),  I don't get my nails done, I wear very little make-up, most of which I buy at Target.  I don't need to be babysat at parties where I don't know many people.  I think Chris is pretty lucky in that he doesn't have a wife that requires too much energy or money to maintain.  He couldn't tolerate it any other way anyway.  If you know Chris, you know what I'm talking about.  HOWEVER, my nighttime ritual has become somewhat high maintenance and it kinda pisses me off that Chris doesn't have to do any of it. 

This is how it goes:  

• shower
• wash hair
• shave legs
• towel dry hair
• brush hair
• towel dry hair again
• blow dry hair (or go to bed with wet hair, which I hate)
• lotion body
• prescription lotion on face 
• prescription lotion on foot
• prescription lotion on 3 fingers (I know, I'm a hot mess)
• moisturize face with the almighty Aveeno
• brush teeth
• floss
• get into bed

 This is how it goes for Chris:

• Shower while brushing teeth (no joke)
• get into bed

I watch him do his two-step beauty process with complete disdain.  Mine is almost exhausting and it's just not fair.  And I'm not even sure if it's making that much a difference.

 

Our story

We met in the elevator of our dorms in 1995.  It was move-in day and he was a freshman, his very first day on campus.  I was a junior, beginning my third year at Stanislaus, and was moving in on the opposite side of the complex from him.  He was 18 years old.  I was 19 years old.  He was 6'5", tan, handsome.  I was 5'11", tan, and waaaaaaay thinner than I am today.  I was also hopelessly in love with and committed to someone else. 

That first meeting scared the shit out of me because he had made such an impression and I was in no position to be feeling that way.  After directing him to his room that first day, I saw him off-and-on for the next few weeks, only to say hello.  The second month into school we both volunteered for the same committee in the dorms and we began a friendship.  That quickly turned into more and as I sorted out the other issues in my life he stood by me, patiently waiting.  Within months, we were inseparable.  That first year was hard because I had hurt someone else I had loved very much and I had such conflict about that but knew that I was making the right decision for me.  Chris was always patient and understanding.  By the time summer rolled around, we'd been together for nearly 6 months. 

He was 19, I was 20

My 21st birthday.

 He went home to lifeguard for the summer and I went home to lifeguard for the summer.  We made trips back and forth and looked forward to the new school year together.

By the time Chris was a senior in 1998, I had graduated and was student teaching and living in my own apartment.  The new school year began and he broke up with me.  He had never known college without me and he needed to do that.  I understood but do you know how hard it is to know that one person is absolutely the right one for you but they don't know it yet?  I was scared to death.  After 15 months of not being together but still being friendly, I gave him an ultimatum.  I had waited those 15 months for him to pull his head out of his ass and I was done.  I let him know it.  He finally did come to his senses, and so we were, once again.

After 5 years of being together (minus those 15 months of a no-label relationship) we moved in together in 2000.  I was teaching and he was a firefighter.  He proposed not long after and so the planning began. 

We married on May 11, 2002.  It couldn't have been a more perfect day in every way possible.  It had been 7 years that we'd been together and I felt like it was all worth the wait.  I actually had the Hallelujah chorus play after we were announced husband and wife because seriously, Hallelujah!  7 years is a freaking long time.

I was too emotional to say much at the reception but the one thing I did say, and the one emotion that sticks with me more than anything is that we had every. single. person. in the world. that we loved and cared about in the same room at the same time.  That was equally as amazing to me as becoming Mrs. Christopher Peters.

Happy Anniversary to you, my dear Chris.  Not only does this mark our 8th wedding anniversary, but in a few months it will mark 15 years of our life together.  You've given me a life I wouldn't have dared dreamed of and I am grateful every single day for our life together and the 3 gifts you've given to me.  I didn't realize that you'd give me 3 amazing gifts back-to-back-to-back, so I also thank you for loving me no matter what the condition my body or mood may be in on any given day.  It's so cheesy and cliche but you are absolutely my rock.  Honestly, though, the reason I love you more today than I did 8 years ago today is because you are their rock.  A girl can't ask for much more than that. 

Mr. and Mrs. Christopher Peters

Our wedding cake was cheesecake.  Mmmmm, cake.

Nothing says, "I love you, new husband" like freaking the best friend on the dance floor.  Love you, Matt!

Our pretty wedding party

Love you.

*All black and white photos courtesy of Cherry Thomas Photography

She's one of my oldest friends and she's amazing in every way.  She wasn't even our wedding photographer!  These are just photos she captured of our day.  Thanks, Cherry. 

Mindful

I've been using the term "mindful" quite a bit lately.  Usually it goes like this, "Drew, you need to be more mindful of your words.  Tell me what the means again?"  Drew says, "I need to think about how my words will make the other person feel."  I say, "Yes, now run along, and stay away from your brother."

The words stupid, hate, shutyourmouth, Idon'tlikeyou... they are beginning to flow much too freely from the mouths of these babes.  They seem to know better than to ever speak to us this way, it's how they talk to each other.  This must come from school, learning this kind of talk.  It's not tolerated at all and the warning was given this morning that the next time I hear a hurtful work come out of someone's mouth, the punishment is going to hurt.  One blanket warning and now I'm done.  Now I sit and wait.

A few days ago, Drew and I were picking up the livingroom while Say Yes to the Dress was on.  There was a bride who was... shall we say, definitely looking for a plus-size gown.  Being the confident plus-sized woman that I am, I am conscience of the words I use and skinny and fat and all of those labels aren't things we discuss.  Just like skin color isn't something I point out either.  People are people and we haven't ever spoken the words that may define them by what we see.  Drew was looking at her and I was wondering what she was thinking.  Then she said, "That lady is soo fat."  I sat her down and asked her what if that lady could have heard her.  How would that have made her feel?  Drew acknowledged that it would have hurt her feelings.  We discussed being mindful of your words again, on a different level, and how although something is obvious, you must always consider the other person's feelings.  

I am sad that Drew saw that woman's size.  It's no secret that woman was extrememly big, but it still makes me sad.  I don't ever want her to see anyone and have their looks define them.  It's how society is but I'll do my best to teach her otherwise.  Plus, she's only 5.  I'm not ready for her to not see the beauty in things already.  She's only 5...