Tuesday, November 8, 2011

~ What the Hell Wednesday ~

Michelle Duggar and I are sisters.  Not sister sisters but sisters in this Motherhood Club.  I feel like with 3 kids ages 6 and under that I have earned maybe... I don't know, V.I.P. status in this club maybe?  Michelle Duggar, however, has now officially earned herself the status of Cray Cray Queen.  We may be sisters in this special club but that's about where our common thread breaks.

Everyone has their own opinion about what the Duggars are doing (by that I mean reproducing like house flies).  You can guess what mine is but I'm thinking now with the news of her 20th pregnancy about some things that, as her sister, I am familiar with: the post-pregnancy body and hormones.   I'd like to ask her the following questions: 

1.  I'm guessing you never jump on a trampoline anymore, right?  

2.  How do you sneeze?

3.  How have you never taken Prozac?  I'm serious.

4.  What kind of bra do you wear?  I know it's got to be a gooooood one.

5.  How do you remember their names, birthdays, weight, clothing size, and shoe size?  I only have 3 and can't do that sometimes.

6.  How does it feel to have had carseats in your car since 1988?  I've had carseats since 2005 and I'm sooooo over it.

7.  How do you continue to feed them all so well?  My third eats Cheetos for breakfast somedays if she wants 'cause I'm too bothered to deal with anything else. 

8.  Do you look forward to doctor appointments and dentist appointments for yourself like I do?

9.  Do you feel guilty having all your older children do so much of the child-rearing of your younger children?

10.  Number 20 due in April, 2012.  What the hell?? 


2 comments:

  1. How does she keep her vagina from dragging on the ground?

    ReplyDelete
  2. How is her uterus still attached?

    Does she snuggle the babies?

    Can she remember what each of them smells like?

    ReplyDelete

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