Gym ugly

*I'm tired, sore, and feeling snarky so this post may have an unusual number of bad words in it.  This is not an apology, it's an FYI*

I've been going to the gym now for 44 days.  How do I know it's been 44 days?  Here's how:

I'm keeping track.  I'm not really sure why, but I am.  This hangs on the back wall in my bathroom.  I cross off everyday and I write "gym" if I went to the gym that day.  At a glance I can see how I'm doing.  This is the first time I'm not really tracking my weight, just my activity.  The weight will surely fall into place as my activity level remains high.  I also know that every single time I've gone to the gym I've walked at least 3.5 miles.  I walk at an incline and I walk at a pace of 3.8 mph and I walk 3.5 miles.  I commit to those three things and nothing more at this point.  This body does not and will not run.  I'm not lifting any weights at this point.  I'll start soon probably but for now, this is my schtick.

So.  Today I went to the Dr. for an issue I won't bore you with and I stepped on the scale.  I saw the number and I almost said out loud, "OH, I'm calling BULLSHIT on that one."  No fucking way do I weigh that.  I am not delusional and think that I've lost all 40 pounds that I have to go but seriously.  The number that appeared was ridiculous.  I was pissed.  Like PISSED, for the rest of the afternoon.  How dumb is that?  The number thing is so ridiculous.  It's about health and how you feel and how your clothes fit.  Screw the scale.  Especially that scale at Kaiser.  That scale fucking sucks.

Tonight I went to the gym after the kids went to bed and I got ugly.  Like gym ugly.  You know what I'm talking about?  Hair pulled back and the fly-aways pinned back so I was all face.  I was super sweaty and still pissed at the scale at Kaiser which implied that I wasn't working hard enough at the gym.  I was also watching Biggest Loser which is a huge incentive in itself.  My iPod was set to "power songs" and it played great song after great song.  I walk with the app Nike+GPS and before I knew it Miss Nike was announcing to me that I'd completed 3 miles and I was honestly surprised.  I felt like I could have kept going and going.  Then I looked at the clock and knew that Chris was home and my pajamas were waiting for me.  I finished my 0.5 miles, cooled down for another quarter mile and called it a day.

Discouraged is not something I need to become which is why for the first time I'm letting my clothes and my chart tell me how I'm doing, not my scale.  And especially not that Kaiser scale.  Damn that thing for ruining my afternoon.

Here's to getting gym ugly a little more often.