Secret message

This will be my last post until the middle of next week.  I'm off to Washington, D.C. in the morning to be with my family.  Have a lovely weekend.

Never thought I'd have to choose

When we were growing up, all the kids in the neighorhood went to the neighborhood school. All the parents worked in the town in which we lived, or maybe the town over. It's just not that way anymore. I don't know anyone who works in the town where we live. My friends and their husbands work elsewhere. Everyone commutes. Kids attend different schools, all over the place, either by the parents' choice or because they were overflowed to a school out of this neighborhood due to overcrowding.


Our neighborhood school is one of the better ones in the district based on API scores. It's fairly newly built and is well maintained. But it's crowded, like every other public school these days. And due to budget cuts, the class sizes in the primary grades are growing. The thought of Drew being in a first grade class next year with 35 other six and seven year olds freaks me out.  I just think it's virtually impossible to get the best education in such an overcrowded environment.  My job is to be sure my kids get the best education.  Therefore, the hunt begins.

We are looking at charter schools and private schools.  I just can't believe that I am going to be one of those.  I want to support public schools.  I was a public school teacher.  Mom is a public school teacher.  I am a product of public schools and I think I turned out just fine.  But things aren't as they once were and so I'm changing with the times.  I'm disappointed in the fact that we live in this community yet we don't work here and chances are, our kids won't go to school here.  I find that to be very sad.

We're looking for a school for our kids which has smaller class sizes, music, physical education, art, and a strong academic program.  There are many schools that provide these things and our kids will be attending one of them.  I just wish it was our neighborhood school.

A milestone for William

Drew and William fight.  Have I mentioned that before?  Oh, yeah.  Only a bajillion times.  So today was no different.  He did nothing something to bug her and she went after him.  She kicked him.  He smacked her arm.  She chased him.  As I yelled, "Ok, you guys!  This isn't playing anymore, someone is going to get hurt!" William went from 20mph to 0mph right into the arm of the leather chair.  He was running from her, she caught him and gave him a gentle nudge and he ate it.  Big time.  Here's the ordeal in pictures.  Is it bad I made him pose before he left for the ER? 

Resolved to the fact that he must go to the hospital but begging Chris to ask the Dr. that he didn't have to get a shot.

Feeling remorseful enough to make William a card while he was at the hospital

Front of said card

Inside of the card

Ta Da!

William and Chris were gone for about 2 hours.  He came home in good spirits and is doing just fine.  I think he's super excited to go to school tomorrow and show his friends.  He walked in the door, took the band aid off and looked in the mirror and said, "Oh, yeah.  That's a really good one."  He's a stud.

Watch the old folks today

Today the weatherman said this:  "Hi, there folks.  Today is going to be hot, hot, hot so stay inside if you can.  Keep an eye on the elderly, the infants, and the pets, we're looking to reach 105*!"  This is the first summer since 2005 that I'm either not pregnant or not breastfeeding so 105* actually does feels like 105*, not 165* as it has for the last 5 years.  But still.  That's freaking hot.  And when you have to watch the elderly and the infants, that can't be good.  I predict puzzles, tv, and lots of sibling bickering while indoors today.

 

Sunday Funday! I hate that phrase but it's appropriate.

We went to a local place to play, take a little boat ride, ride a merry-go-round, and to get wet.  It was a fun family afternoon, the kinds of days I absolutely cherish. 

They aren't fighting!

Lauren and her new friend

Who wears this out of the house?

Who wears this at all?

This one freaked her out

Lauren HATED that Drew was on him.

On the boat, listening to the birds

On the boat, listening to the birds, too.

Ummm, no thanks.

A great way to wash the dirt from those life jackets off of them.

Love that they went in in their clothes.  They are getting more normal as they get older.

Love that Saltwater sandals are waterproof

Cold, wet boy

My hokey pokey

Because THIS is what it's all about...

I once was blind but now I see...

I have no attachment to my kids' hair.  Lauren hasn't had a haircut yet but not because I am too sentimental to cut it, I just didn't want her to sport the mullett that Drew had to live with because of my mistakes in cutting her hair when she was little.  The homeless look just wasn't working for me anymore, though.  Such a pretty girl who was looking unkempt all for the sake of not having heavy bangs when she grows up.  Screw it.  It was time for a change.  Not drastic, but a nice subtle change.  And if she could talk she'd be saying, "Oh, mommy, that's what you look like!  You're prettier now that I don't see you between wisps of white hair."  At least that's what I imagine she'd say.

11:00am today

4:00pm today

Sadness

A week from right now, this very moment, I'll be touching down in Washington, D.C.  Chris is staying home to run his business and tend to the littles.  Thankfully his fire schedule allows him to stay home when he's needed, times like these.  Wish he could be with us but it is what it is.

Aunt Debbie's service is next Saturday.  I am so looking forward for all of my family - my WHOLE family, all 7 of us, being together.  My husband won't be there, and neither will the kids, but all of my blood relatives will be.  We're fortunate that between graduations (college, grad school) and weddings over the last 8 years we've all been together at least once a year.  I've been lucky enough for the last 8 years or so to spend every summer with Uncle Dennis and Aunt Debbie for at least a week at the Cape.  David and I need to graduate grad school and Jennie needs to get married and we'll be able to fit in a couple more visits of all of us being together.  This occasion is a terribly sad one but I am glad we'll all be together.  

I've lost all 4 of my grandparents but this loss is very different.  I was a teen and in my early 20's when I lost my grandparents and never related to them as an adult.  Aunt Debbie was my aunt, had the respect of an elder, but was my friend.  MY FRIEND.  I shared everything from the fact that I had tollhouse cookies for breakfast to the fact that I'd lost 11 pounds to the fact that I was secretly trying for a 3rd baby.  She knew it all, often before anyone else.  She was my daily email buddy and the emails that went between my brother, my mom, Aunt Debbie, and me over the years are probably in the tens of thousands.  The nonsense we talked about sometimes would be mind numbing to others but it was so fun.  And so meaningful.  So important.  Just that connection... 

It's hard putting it all into words.  The waves of emotions that come and go, and then come again.  I'm solid, good, for days and then it hits me and I crumble at the half-thought of her.  Then I feel so strong all over again.  It's such a weird thing.  The emptiness is great, lots of things that always were that changed when she got sick but now I realize will never be again. 

This post is going no where and I can't articulate any of it like I wish I could.  

It just fucking sucks.

  

post-it

courtesy of Message With a Bottle

Not lazy, just content

Despite what some people, like my friend Jay, may think, being a mom of 3 doesn't mean that I'm frantically on the go all the time.  Somedays are like that, but not all.  Everyday is a little different but for the most part, I can find some spare minutes here and there throughout the day to catch a break.  And by 8pm at the latest the downstairs is child-free so I know I'm guaranteed that if nothing else.  Our house is run by the clock, it always has been, so my free time is rather predictable... all by design.  Anyway, on those days and those nights when I am alone and have free time I am amazed that I never get bored.  EVER.  When I choose to ignore my household duties and just sit on my ass instead I can so easily kill 2 hours (or more!) doing nothing.  Nuh thing.  On the days when Chris is home all day and he takes the kids to go do something daddyfun, I can sit all day and do nuh thing.  I haven't been bored in probably 15 years and I'm not even kidding.  I'm not lazy.  I just don't have to be entertained or busy to be happy.  I wonder why some people (CHRIS!) always have to be moving and doing and others (ME!) love life just as much while doing nuh thing. 

Freedom of choice

First day... in pictures

The night before school everyone was cool, tomorrow was just another day.  We talked about beginning school quite a bit but I tend to hammer things into the ground and the kids hate that so I didn't overdo it.  I blow dryed Drew's hair after bath (reserved for ONLY special occasions) and off they went to bed.  No nerves were had by anyone.  Here's Drew at 8:30pm:

 I got up 30 minutes before the kids to get myself ready so when they got up I could make the firstdayofschool breakfast.  Drew made her now famous scrambled eggs and I made cinnamon french toast.  No one ate a damn thing, as usual.  We brushed teeth, hair, got dressed, and went outside for the annual firstdayofschool picture in front of the tree. 

Drew's firstdayofschool dress is courtesy of Grandma and Grandpa

Lauren is laughing because she knows her morning are now freeeeeee!

Chris wasn't home from work yet (which was so disappointing) so we left for school.  Drew's kindergarten class starts before William's preschool class so we dropped her off in her room first.  She was doing fine at the beginning:

Chris surprised her before I even left, he rushed from work to school to get there for a firstdayofschool kiss. 

As the seconds passed, the apprehension set in.  This is the last picture I took but her face says it all.

Following this was a big hug, tears, pleas for me to stay and not leave.  I got up to leave and she followed.  It didn't take too much but I left the room with her crying.  Not screaming, not terrified, just crying.  I peeked in a few minutes later and she was standing up rubbing Elijah's back.  He was sobbing and she was comforting him.  She had a purpose and had forgotten her own sadness to help take care of his.  A nice thing to see in her and a good start for her day, I think.

30 minutes later William's class started and he was fine at first.

He even made sure to kiss Lauren and tell her not to miss him, that he'd be back for lunch.

Then Chris and Lauren walked out and I was following.  He called me back for one more hug.  I know better.  But he was fine.  So I went back in.  And he looked like this.

After this followed all kinds of stipulations he had for me:  "I'll stay if you come back when the big hand is on the 6.  If you come back when it's on the 7 then I'm not staying."  There was lots of that kind of talk.  Then he wouldn't let go of me.  I tried to just put him down and he started crying and his teacher had to peel him off of me.  I just walked out.  I didn't get a chance to peek in on him like I did on Drew but my guess is it didn't last long.  I hated it, though.

We picked them up, both with big smiles, and went to Red Robin for lunch.  Who doesn't love freckled lemonade after a long first day of school?

Like the neon bow I put in Drew's hair?  And how crumbs mesmerize Lauren?

William was SO over the camera at this point.  And the lady behind William was SO over him, apparently.

All in all I think it was a great day with just a little bit of a rough start.  Tomorrow will be much better, I'm sure of it. 

Oh, and Lauren and I had a ball while the kids were gone!  She slept half the time, I cleaned up from breakfast and caught up on some emails, and then we took a walk.

Freedom

Thanks for all the well wishes, emails, the card from Nana, and texts.  I didn't expect any tears from anyone, yet all of us cried.  The ice has now been broken and we're ready for a great school year!

Have you ever seen a pretty girl in a too-short dress who plays hard-to-get?

Changes

I'm throwing the hammer down.  Now is as good a time as any.  School starts in two days and with that will come some new changes.

This summer I became so lax with, well, mostly everything.  The tv especially.  It became survival mode for a little while there and since the tv takes the place of ME, I don't sit and watch what they watch.  I'm busy doing something MUCH more important.  I discovered after numerous eye rolls and some teenage girl toneofvoice and attitude from Drew that just because iCarly and Hannah Montana are on kid stations doesn't mean they are for kids... who are 5.  And when Drew and William continue to call each other "stupid" and "you fool" and "idiot" I had to wonder who in the hell these kids were and where are they learning this stuff?  Ummm, hello!  Unsupervised television, mother of the year!  I just can't believe it's gotten to this point.  Soo, last night I sat down with the remote and taught myself how to block ALL programs that are not rated Y for youth.  Why I didn't do that 6 months ago I have no idea.  TV problem is solved I think. 

Another thing that's changing is the options for meals.  The options these kids have are ridiculous.  "What would you like for breakfast?  French toast, eggs, cereal, granola bar, toast, fruit?"  No more.  I can't do it.  And there is no reason why I should.  They will eat what I serve or they won't eat.  I find myself making 3 or 4 different things for breakfast and lunch and one day it just dawned on me.  THIS IS ABSURD.  Who does that?  Well, not me.  Not anymore.  This morning I served pancakes for breakfast and Miss Thang was very unhappy and you know what I said?  "Get used to it." 

I've already said, "Oh, I know, it's so awful here." and they are only 3 and 5.  What are their teenage years going to be like?  Hell, probably.  Complete hell.  'Cause really, it's soooooo awful here.

Relief? Are you out there?

I've written about this before here, but OMG.  Anyone else have hormone issues after baby?  Not depression, not postpartum, but like crazy hormone imbalance stuff?  I have no issue putting this out there.  I think a lot of people don't talk about stuff like this.  I am a hormonally imbalanced freaking mess.  I'm currently working with my doctor but we've been unsuccessful so far in finding some balance.  I'm looking forward to being normal, feeling normal again.  Sooner than later would be nice.  I'd love to hear your story if you have anything to share.  Feelin' like a lonely little owl over here.  And that I'm-over-it look?  Pretty accurate.

I've lost it and hope to never find it again

I'm a wee bit taller than I was 6 weeks ago. 

If that doesn't make any sense to you, you can read HERE.

I'm OK with K

I am one who mourns milestones.  No child of mine has ever had a birthday when I didn't feel sad.  No child of mine has ever taken first steps, said first words, or become potty trained without a bit of sadness on my part.  I accept that they are growing up but I hate it.  I think part of it is because I'm good at the baby thing but I'm not so sure how good I'm going to be at the rest of it. 

This situation is different, however.  Drew starts kindergarten in less than a week.  She's more than ready and so am I because I know that she is.  If she was holding on to my legs and worried about being left there I would be emotional but she's not that kid.  She is capable, independent, and ready.  I guess that means I am, too.  What choice do I have?  I can't have her drying MY tears come Monday.  Can I?

 

I'm digging this

Even though you can't shake your money maker to this version like you can to the original, I really like this.

Cheap babysitter

Headache, sore throat, tight chest, burning eyes, small naps here and there throughout the day when Lauren naps while the kids sit on their ass in front of the tv.  There is just nothing good about a mommy not feeling well.  This crummy feeling has been lingering and and I gave the germs the whole, "Shit or get off the pot" speech last night.  Guess I asked for it.  Oh, well.  The sooner it really hits the sooner it's over.  The lingering crummy feeling is the worst.  August is Chris's busiest month of the year (read: single parent) so the timing is terribly inconvenient.  Add to that I'm completely useless when I don't feel well.  Thank goodness for a 17 month old who takes 2 solid naps a day.  The biggest thanks goes to Phineas and Ferb.  They are really great babysitters.  I suggest hiring them if you're in a pinch.

  

I got nothin'

I'm sick of posting about the kids which means I'm sure you're tired of reading about them.  I got nothin' else so I'll post this.  Have a good weekend.

It's not moving...

Paycheck

Whatevermom

Drew had a dentist appointment today and she was the definition of big girl, brave, independent, and whatevermom.  I guess I'm used to William who howls like a lamb being brought to the slaughter so I was hovering a bit and Drew was having none of it.  She was sooo fine and soooo over me asking her questions.  I gotta learn to just let that child be. 

It was discovered that she has gotten two of her 6-year old molars and that her bottom two front teeth have a tiny bit of give to them.  The tooth fairy may be here before Christmas!  I'm very excited for that.  She also has a tremendous underbite (not news to us) which will 100% require either braces or surgery in her early teens.  Thank goodness for good insurance.

After every dentist appointment anyone has ever had, we have gone to get an ice cream cone after.  Today was no exception.  'Cause what's better for new clean, shiny teeth than some shugah?  Drew and I went to the Ghiradelli Factory and Ice Cream Shoppe -  it's been open for a while but we've always just driven by, we've never stopped.  What a find!  Drew had a great big, too big, ice cream cone with sprinkles on top and even got a kiddie goody bag with a coloring page and crayons.  Between that, the new toothbrush, toothpaste, princess floss, and huge balloon it was more like Christmas than a visit to the dentist. 

I don't remember any of that as a kid.  Do you?

 

Measuring day

Back in April I blogged about a wonderful birthday planting tradition that my best friend Jen has with Drew.  You can read it HERE if you're interested. 

Drew takes great care of her tomato plants and checks on them every morning.  Today she declared it to be measuring day.  I followed her outside to snap some pictures but she and William spent about 15 minutes looking at, measuring, and inspecting the tomato plants.  She gave a good report when she came inside and William informed me that one of the tomato plants is now 92 inches tall.  Isn't that quite amazing?  We must have superhero soil I told him.  

We definitely have late blooming tomatoes this year.  I'm waiting to make our annual summer spaghetti with Drew made from her tomatoes.  It's the best meal of the summer.

See Little Miss peeking through the window as Drew inspects. 

The runt of the litter.  I'm not sure this one will produce anything.

Supervising